In all the craziness I look for peace. Is that so hard to understand?
This is college! I'm not supposed to be well rested all the time. I
Am supposed to be working hard to further my mind. Don't waste my time
Telling me how cruddy I look. I am well aware of my own failure. Why
Pour salt and vinegar on my open wounds?

Restaurant

Are we all so focused on
What we see that internal beauty
Cannot redeem the facade?



I sit alone in a place of many, but
They judge what they see. Blinded
By expectation, I am quietly
Removed, lest I should contaminate
Their world. do they care that I
Am loved by many, and choose to
Eat alone? Or do they pity the
Girl in the dark corner.
God forbid!

The End

Because of myself, I am afraid.
I walk around as if on parade
I know that is false, but I cannot
Shake the notion. I am a robot,
Artificial intelligence, if you will,
Responding to cues given. A Hill
I climb, striving to ever attain
The prize I desire to gain.
What prize?
Rest.

I Don't Want To

When the whole world is crying
Out to me, commanding what
I need to do, I shut them out.
I know what I should do, but
Hate doing it. I've been alone
For so long, I have no idea
How to allow someone else
Into my mind. Does anyone
Else understand the fact
That I can't open up? So tired
Of hearing what is best for me.
So tired of knowing what
I need to do, yet having no
Idea how to accomplish it.

Loving you so dearly,
Yet coming no nearly
To losing my heart
To the close dark.
I wish for your light
To invade and fight
To save me from myself.

Reason

Wondering...how
Long will I stand in the
Shadow waiting for Your
Soft voice? I crave
Your presense so that
I can continue to follow
Your plans. Yet I cannot
If You are not here.
I know you are...My
Soul, mind, and reason
combine in one LOUD chorus
Crying out that You are here-
Yet my heart sings a different tune.

I ache for You.

Come fill me.

Constructive

When one feels pain,
They need to deal with
The pain in a good way.

This is what I heard
From everyone around me.
I don't want to hear that!!!
Give me ideas! Don't stand
There in shock at the
Marks on my arms
When you do nothing to help
But stand there and talk!

I don't want your sympathy!
I want you to hold me!
If I'm in the hole that
Doesn't feel pain or blood
Then talking is beyond belief.

Act! Help! Or move!
I don't want you to
Watch me struggle as
My hands wander of their
Own accord. When they
Do, hold them tight!

Don't let me wander in the NIGHT that I live in and not provide that light which you hold in your heart.