Opposite.
I feel torn.
Two men whom I love.
They show their affection so differently.

One simply tells me.
He is my brother.
I must love him, because
It is required of me.
I want to love him, but
Why does he make it so difficult?

Another does not say it,
At least in the conventional way.
He shows me in the tone of his voice,
And in the touch of his hand. The
Twinkle of his eye.
The sadness in his soul at the
Breaking of my own heart.

Tonight I feel many things,
So many I cannot contain them.
A simple, single post could not
Do all of them justice, and
Yet this is my diary.

Two men, two loves.
I love them both, and
Care deeply for them.
Why do I only want to express
To the one?

How much a heart can take

It's a curious thing...this emotional center that we call the heart. We break it....mend it....give it away....have it stolen. But what a truly strong thing it is. The bonds of love, especially those within a family, cannot be broken. No matter how much someone hurts us...we always find a way to forgive them. My heart was broken once again tonight...by someone soooo close. He's in my family, and I love him dearly. That does not mean that I always have to like him....thankfully. How much more am I expected to take?

Self-control

What is self-control? Is it simply being able to control our actions? I don't think so. It has more to do with a particular mindset. A mindset that says "I know what I am able to handle, and I am going to make sure that I stay far away from that line." I wonder what boundaries we don't listen to? Which ones we push...and don't even realize it. For some of us it may be just looking through a magazine and seeing a picture. Then we need to avoid looking through that magazine so we can keep ourselves pure. Always know what boundaries you need, and stick to them. Don't feel stupid, or weak, or anything else. Keep them up.

As I Wonder

As I sit here and wonder at the wonder that is the human life, I cannot help but think of the One that created us. How uniquely He sat and molded each and everyone of us. There is a saying: "When you were made, the mold was broken!" How true! How blessed we are to have a Maker that loves each of us so uniquely!